There are three themes if you will that emerge from your words. Your thoughts and feelings about yourself, how those thoughts and feelings will ultimate relate to world you live in and finally what is the consequence?
Your thoughts about your parents are so driven by fear, of loss, of lack of understanding and of sadness. It is so clear from your words that you love your parents. In your words I taste the bitterness of having failed but you have not tried. In understanding the reactions of those around us knowing the difficulties they will face we learn to speak to and approach them with the right words and I am sure you will too. But this is not the first hurdle you face, and it should not be attempted before the first one is conquered.
I freshly remember the feelings that you describe, the growing knowledge, the moments when I could name what drove me, the realization that I was a woman born with the wrong body. I sought counsel from professionals that knew this field and they helped not in defining what I was, but in preparing the decision that invariably we all must make. Will we act on our knowledge? This step for me was not validation of my feelings and thoughts, but rather the foundation to make the decision.
This choice is never about means. Throughout my life I have found that if you know what you need to do the means can and will be found. It must be made first, how to implement it comes second.