Sunday, February 7, 2010

Desires

So I had something happen today that reaffirmed my belief that this desire inside me to be female is far more than just a fantasy. It really is a desire, a want, a need. Although I have not had an episode of it being that strong a desire in some time. It was kinda strange cause I don't think anything triggered it, it just was there.

So this is what happened. I woke up this morning, after a night of drinking, (its the weekend, usually happens, lol) and I had an incredibly strong desire to feel female. And it was not like I'm hard I need sexual release feeling, it was just a feeling of I need to feel more female. Like I just needed to be female, that my male body was like out of place on me. I knew what I had to do to aid this feeling so it did not send me into a down state of mind, I needed to dress. Once I did I felt much better, like my body was in a state of peace, like I felt normal I guess. It was like a feeling of a desire becoming reality almost.

Its really funny how clothes can influence your mind like that, but they do. Proir to today I had not dressed in a long while. I don't know why, I just did not feel it. I like to keep it a sort of only as needed basis. I think it has a stronger effect that way. And judging by today, I am correct.

After it was over I felt good about it though. Like normally I kinda feel empty afterwards, but today it was very fulfilling. I kinda feel like I'm moving in a direction with all this, just not sure which one yet.

Thoughts, questions, comments? Post 'em here or email me at isobellenichole@gmail.com

3 comments:

  1. Is it possible for you to dress a little? i think it may help you even if anything more permanent is out of the question with you.
    If you can it may help you feel more at ease with yourself and your body.I have problems with that too and find it helps.

    Cuddles, sissygurl belinda

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  2. Very interesting, we may have to enlarge more on this subject sometime...

    <3!

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  3. I am in the same place. I LOVE to dress but when I do it to often, I don't feel as satisfied. On the other hand, I cannot stop and don't want to. Girls don't seem to find me sexually attractive and when I dress as a girl, men definitely do. And part of me wants to be controlled and used so thoroughly. I Love your tattoo's by the way, especially the bow.

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