Saturday, November 7, 2009

A Brief History of My Journey Thus Far

So I guess I’ll start this off officially by telling you a bit about myself. I don’t exactly know how or when I got into this stuff, but I think it was around ten years ago. I remember being fascinated by women’s clothes, fascinated on how they felt on me. Aroused by them. I remember that after some time of this I began to day dream about being a girl, having a very feminine body, wearing skin tight clothes and such. I was so turned on by these thoughts, even more so then when I was trying on clothes. For a couple of years this is how it was. Sneaking and borrowing clothes to try out and fantasizing about being a woman. Although at this point it was more fantasizing about just having the body and admiring it, nothing sexual at this point. I remember most of my fantasies were like me being a super heroine type thing, but still arousing to me.

Well after high school, when I entered into college, I discovered all the wonderful joys of the internet. Porn. This new found discovery fueled my interests and fantasies. My brain became addicted to the images. Soon I was taking some of these pictures I found and was photoshopping my face onto them. God that got me so hard at the time. This became my obsession. I would look for good pics to put my face into. I remember that before I deleted most of them, I had hundreds of these pics done. I loved it. I started out by using pics with fully clothed girl and slowly began to explore more and worked my way up to using nude photos. It was at this point I began to stockpile pics I liked and wanted to use. It was at this stage that I began to look at pictures of women and girls and not see the particular girl or woman in the picture, but rather looked at it and saw me being her.

The next step in my journey: the discovery of TG captions. I don’t know how I came across them, but I did. The first captions I came across were of the soft core nature, but they completely changed my imagination. They fueled my thoughts of being female. Captions really helped me better visualize being a girl. And while I still continued looking for images to put my face on, TG captions were my main focus. I loved reading them. Some I read over and over and over again. Captions became like a drug to me, an addiction. I would read them whenever I got the chance, to get that rush, that arousal.

It took some time, but slowly my tastes developed into the hardcore. At first it disgusted me. I mean I am a guy, and the thought of having another guy fucking me as I was a girl was just gross to me back then. I was grossed out by it, but for some reason some part of me wanted to read them. Disgust grew to curiosity to fascination to acceptance to desire. Desire to know what it really feels like. In all my journey thus far, nothing gets me more hard than reading a good hardcore caption, or seeing some porn of a girl getting fucked or giving a blow job and me imagining being her doing those things. I have an incredibly strong desire to be a girl and give a blow job, get my face covered in cum, and then have that guy fuck my pussy, filling it up with his seed. Fuck I wish I could experience that.

Then earlier this year I decided to open myself up to the world through the internet. Isobelle was born then. Making my own captions only further fueled my desires as I dove deeper into this side of myself. I love to make a caption by using my name in it. It just really gets me going, really makes me thing and want to experience everything in that caption. Especially the hardcore ones I make. When I write a caption, you are not just getting a story from me, you are getting a little slice of my fantasies, my desires, my wants.

It was these hardcore thoughts that made my curiosity of being female turn into a desire, a wanting to be female. Now at this point in my life I cannot see myself going through with changing myself. Maybe if the process was easier, cheaper, maybe. Also it’s the whole idea that I prolly could not look like how I see the female version of myself in my head. Besides, if I ever became a woman I would want to experience everything, including pregnancy. Right now I am still happy being a guy, so I wish for some kind of magic to help me live out this fantasy life inside my head. So until I discover some magic lamp or modern science and medicine improve to the point where I can become the woman in my mind, I will remain male. Don’t get me wrong though, it would be my first wish to be female if I ever found that magic lamp. And if science and medicine get to the point where I can be the woman I see myself as fully, I know that I would be one of the first to sign up.

Well there it is, a brief history of how I came to this point in my life in the TG world. Any thoughts? Questions? Comments? Post ‘em here or email me at isobellenichole@gmail.com


P.S. Thanks to everyone who is stopping by, thanks to those who have decided to follow this blog and thanks to everyone whom I have met so far in my journey and has inspired me, I love you all.

2 comments:

  1. That was a nice back story. It was really insightful I thought.

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  2. That was cool how you included yourself in that way, by telling the story from the background, very nice, I liked how some of the stuff I haven't been told to me when we chat, I like that. I would like to add that if you're gong to be talking about yourself in this blog, that you may want to try to include more about some of the stuff you talked to me when we chat. Also is there any way that you may have any of those photoshopped pics of you that you may feel comfortable posting up?

    Well, hope to hear from your response, very interesting so far girl!
    <3!!

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