Basically I was chatting with another TG person last night, a person who I've talked with before. It never really became very personal talk, but I think more generalistic in nature about the things we are both going through. This person has began to transition and is on HRT.
When we first met I thought this would be another great opportunity to talk with someone experiencing something in life similar to what I am experiencing. But the more I talked and the more messages shared, the more I thought this person was rather odd. Not that odd is bad, but to me this odd didn't mix well with the odd that I am. But that was fine, we still messaged each other on occasion.
But really things went south for me over the last couple of weeks, culminating with last night. What happened was this person was saying that my way of going about dealing with being TG and my decisions to wait until I have better handle on the rest of my life was utter bullshit and said that I am just stupid and afraid and that I will regret this later in life. No words of optimism, understanding, positive advice, or encouragement were spoken to me. According to this person I am full of bullshit and that I need to stop lying to myself and denying myself.
Well I'm never talking to this person ever again. I don't need negative in a time when positive helps the most. I think the way I am dealing with everything is in the best interest for myself at the current time. I am not going to do anything towards transition right now because it would be too stressful and I have a very high percentage of setting myself up to fail not only at that, but at life as well. I feel I am being smart and waiting until my life conditions are more favorable and will allow for a greater chance of success. I don't see how that is bullshit in any way nor do I see how I will regret anything when I'm trying to make it so I don't have regrets.
It is my life and I am going to live it how I want, when I want. I am being true to myself and there is nothing unrealistic about that.
As a Non-Op Transgender woman I say GOOD FOR YOU! If there is one thing I have learned it is that everyone goes through this differently. We all have to gauge where we are and the life impact this will have. What good is it to begin and transition if you become depressed, isolated, and maybe even suicidal? I wish we in our community would stop pressuring and hating on each other. We have an entire world full of closed minded humans for that aspect. Stay strong Izzy. *hugs you tight*
ReplyDeleteAlexia
I', gonna say you did the right thing Isobelle, if someone doesn't accept as you are "scram" there is the door (and i think i said this before ^o^)...
ReplyDeleteOkay i would say your idea is quite reasonable, you don't have to jeopardize your situation just because someone wants to put you on a rush and saying you are being afraid of taking that huge step or something...
Keep the way you are Isobelle, i would love you even if you change but everytime you decided to change not others forcing you ^-^
Hugs and Kisses Alectra
Definitely Isobelle. Don't take shit like that you're better. Just rise above it although sounds like you have already...
ReplyDeleteEveryones individual experiences with this kind of thing are unique and no one solution is going to work for everyone.
If you need time and support to reflect and to 'work tings out' in your own head and life before you even think of letting something as life changing as letting you be your real self in a more open way.. well it's just common sense that you need to make sure conditions are right isn't it?
Always horrible.. so many interweb bullies about these days. Still.. if you want love and support and friendship from some genuine people then they're not hard to find.. just you might occasionally come across some nutters to :D x
Tiffany
http://crossdreamer.blogspot.com
All of the above, plus, just want to point out, there are a lot of people who are tremendously low in self-esteem. What happens is they need their point of view; the way they are doing things to be validated by everyone around them. Because you are not doing that, you become an 'idiot' in their minds. That is no excuse, and walking away wiping the dust off is the best thing for you to do.
ReplyDeleteI find it important to know this though, and remember, as you do, to give other people the benefit of love and care, not just your own way of dealing.
Big Hug,
Halle
We are all different with our own needs and what may be fine for one isn't for another. You are right to not to accept this persons suggestions and if it takes longer for you to get to where you want to be there is nothing wrong with it.
ReplyDeleteHugs sissygurl belinda
Thank you everybody for all you've said. It is very comforting to know that most of the people in the tg community are decent understanding folks. (From what I've seen anyways.) I just seem to have a bad knack for coming across the bad eggs of the group.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you Alexia, we need to stop hating on each other. And I don't think I'm being hypocritical because of what I've posted here. I honestly wanted to be friends and talk with this person and learn from them. I don't hate this person, but the attempted and failed friendship left a negative feeling about them. But I have picked up and moved on.
I appreciate the words of wisdom Halle, I had not thought about that before, but it does make sense. Thank you for sharing that.